Friendship

What is friendship? Is it something that really exist? Or is it just a selfish thing we need to keep surviving? Why does friendships have to change so much with time? Some grow better and better, some just end with distance and some just grow in a direction some people involved are not exactly prepare or even willing to. Why does things always have to get weird? I have the best friends in the world, but I still feel lonely. Most of them are there for me when I need (or at least when I make sure they understand I need help). Still, I don't want things to change with the friendships I already have. As much as the new is always exciting, some things I prefer not to change, it scares me. I am convincing myself that I need to change, but some things are better the way they are. That's why I normally don't let my guards down. It always leads me to trouble and I don't know how to fix it. I hope I can do the right thing not to hurt anyone much. Yeah, I realized it is impossible for me to become the cold-hearted self-centered bitch I decided to become. Some things got change, but my friends showed me that being nice is not so bad.