Resistance

connections that never come
we stay alone
far apart
surrounded by people
dancing to the same song
but never connected

they all want the same
not my mind
or my opinion
just my smile,
my body,
my surrender

one got be strong
it is not for everyone
resist till one's dead...

Silence / Noise

I am tired of this game
Of pretending all is fine
I am tired of this game
That makes me feel like I am not worth
Life tires me...

One more step
The same question again and again
And back to the beginning

I want to fall in love
To crazily forget everything around
To forget about the lies
To be controlled by a feeling
And not the other people

I want a quiet mind
That thinks one thing of a time
And only once till it reaches an answer
I want to stop the obsessing

I will follow the music
Till it is quiet
Because then,
There is no point living...

Time is up, forget is all I can do

I need to learn to stop caring about you
I need to train my eyes to stop following your moves
I need to stop remembering what you like or dislike
How your face turns sideways when you smile
I need to learn that it is all over
There is no hope
That you never wanted to give me what you give her
That I was just something to spend some time with
I need to start seeing more clearly about my life
And forget that you ever existed that way
It shouldn't be that hard, we are already far apart
I wish I could stop seeing you around
But where I meet you is what keeps me sane
I regret so many things in our time together
I offered you my heart and you didn't care
I told you my story, but now it seems like you didn't listen
I opened up like never before and you left me there
Broken, ashamed, feeling cheap
I was just a thing, not worthy to worry

Practice makes perfect

Once more I need to rethink about my life. Where do I want to get? Am I able to achieve it the way I am going? What do I need to change? However, for this, I need to understand the why things go the way they go. That's the hard part. I never managed to learn that. Why I am the one left stranded on the corner? What is it about me? Am I still that closed of a person? Is that what keeps others away? I am so interested in human connections, but yet so far to understand them and put them in practice. I guess I am really a theoretician. It is time to start with the experiments...