The masks that we hide behind

I have put this mask to protect from constant attacks. I have put this mask to try to be part of the group. I have put this mask to try to pretend something I am not. And now the mask deceives everyone. More people than I expected and that I wanted. How hard is to see behind the mask? I wish I could take it out, but it is so tightly sticked in me that I don't have the strength to take it out. I am still a shy little girl trying to learn how to socialize and all people see is this almost confident person. I wish I was able to show my real self to a few more people. I wish I could be true to myself and survive with little harm. I wish I am not causing anyone to put on a mask. I wish life was less unjust. I keep the mask and just hope to meet someone that can see through it.

No land being

TO hide from my fears and anxieties, I close myself in this hard shell almost confident. I try to pretend and deceive people to see if I can avoid the attacks that in my country are a constant. I feel so home sick this last days, but I don't really want to go back there else to see my family and friends. I can't remember something I really miss from there expect the people I connected and maybe the way the people are passionate in concerts, but nothing else. I don't want to have to pretend being something else and not showing my true nature just to protect myself. I don't want to attack people in the same way they do with me just to try to take the attention somewhere else. All I can do is imagine how it would be if I was born in another culture. It wouldn't be me, but it would be so much easier. Now I don't fit anywhere anymore. If before I felt like I was born in the wrong place, now more then ever I am certain. However, I will never truly fit in a new culture I wasn't born in. I will always have a different perspective from the people that live this culture as if it was unique. Home, that something with no meaning for me anymore.