There is something rotten in Academia

I have been trying for the last three years to do a PhD. The status of it is that my stipend finished and the PhD no, so I got a job in the industry. Coming today to keep on trying to work to finish this chapter once and for all, I realized how much I hate this. How can it be that something that was suppose to be a dream of mine has gotten so bad? Is it my problem? No, certainly not. More and more I hear the horror stories from other people in the same position as me. And they are much worse. How can it be that so many intelligent and highly motivated people can end up with a miserable life to end a PhD? What is the problem? I know that the Institute I was (am still) working is extremely bad in dealing with students, or slaves as they see us. We are just replaceable batteries that they drain all the energy and will and afterwards replace for a new one. At least in the "real" world (corporate one), people have rights, while in academia we are far from that. How can you keep someone motivated if they know that they are replaced with the blink of an eye? Specially in a field that is so uncertain. We are trying to find the unknown and it is obvious that we might face surprising results that might make our work before useless. This is already hard to face it and then there is all the pressure. Somehow only the very arrogant people survive in this hostile environment and it helps making the place even more unbearable. How can we solve this problem? Is that a way? Is there enough nice people to do this? I am so glad I left. I will miss a lot of things, but coming to work on my thesis for the first time since I started working in the industry I realize how much I hate this place. The nostalgia of doing something one having done for so long is lacking completely. I will have to be so strong to be able to finish it and it will be a long and painful battle, I know.

Facing fears

And I keep on running away. One day I will have to face it. It is there, waiting for me in every corner. There is only one way to escape and that is not my will at the moment. How will I solve it? Will I face it once and for all? I need to change more and more...

It is inevitable, things will change. We will fall apart...

I recently took a different path in my life. It means that I don't see my friends every single day like I used to. I miss them a lot, but I can see how easy is to just fall apart and it makes me wonder. Is the constant contact that made us be friends? Is it the fact that we were in the same situation that grew a connection between us? What makes people be friends? Is it common interest? But then I always think of how different I am from my best friends. We share some interests, but personalitywise, we couldn't be more different somehow. However, I can see that in many things, we feel the same. Wouldn't that be the case for every normal human being or am I just being too naive? Is this enough? What is necessary to form a relationship, a friendship, a long or short connection between two people? Is is enough to keep it for a longer time? How much one have to nourish this connection to keep it alive? I once had no friends and nowadays I am facing the opposite problem. Somehow I managed to connect to a lot of different people and I love them all. However, how can I keep these connections in so little time? I was trying to think of how I would explain to my 12 years old self that I have too many friends. How could I even imagine that would be possible back then. And there are still so many nice people in this world that I haven't met yet. Should I stop? Am I suppose to keep things the way they are? I will try my best not to miss anyone, but it is inevitable.