Fading in

Oh, my teenager years... I didn't do much. I was always a loser, but I had my ideals and though I could change the world. Some things got better and some of my ideals took me in the right direction to a better way of living. However, I am not strong enough to stand the pressure of society anymore. There are more and more things I want to give in. It is time to take the soma and fit in. Live the life as everyone else. Pretend to be happy. Pretend to have fun. Pretend to like what I don't. Pretend, pretend, pretend... Maybe if I pretend hard enough, I will start believing in the lie. The lie I avoided for so long. No, I cannot change the world. I can hardly change people around me, so why should I keep going like this? I think the pretending might be a better solution as I am not brave enough to go with the suicidal option. I just want to fade inside the lie.