Disappointments

I am sure I disappoint a lot of people, but people disappoint me immensely. I cannot understand that honesty and sincere the way I try to be, people still think I am hiding something. Yes, I am hiding something. Manly my feelings of disappointment with everyone and life itself. Things that can only hurt me and not anyone else. The crazy thing is that people think I am selfish and cold-hearted. I am just doing my best. Do you have a problem with?! Come and we talk about it. I am sure I will try my best to stop bothering you in any way. I can survive with no one, but not with a heavy conscious. As The Who says: "No one knows what it's like, to be the bad man To be the sad man, behind blue eyes No one knows what it's like, to be hated To be fated, to telling only lies" I would say more like living a lie than telling only lies. Maybe I should just lose myself and become another machine in the society. Dress what is fashionable, start drinking, smoking, live on a diat, ... Is it the way to be happy? Can anyone be happy? I was so happy in the beginning of the week and then comes today to destroy me. And it was something that I was just trying to lie to myself that I didn't know for sure. I hate when people hate me for nothing I did. I wouldn't mind if they hated me for being me, I can take that, but not for something that is not my fault. I decided that for now on, I won't organize anything anymore. If people want to go have dinner, I might join, but won't choose a thing or invite anyone. I am already bitter, I just need to wait a few years to get old on the outside as well and become a bitter old lady. I know I cannot avoid any kind of gender concept, so I decided to just take it as it is. Let's see how far I will get.