my mess

when do you have to start bothering the ones you love with your problems? I don't want to drag them into my mess. I can't help being there, it's how it always been. I can't remember the time I wasn't in this agony. If only someone had payed enough attention to help me leave this hole. No wonder people end up taking desperate measures. I am quite sure I would never go as far as killing other people, but myself... I just feel like disappearing so I won't have to bother more people. I am also so demanding even if people don't realise it. I get hurt so easily. I feel like I am being forgotten by people anytime they have their private time. Why do I need so much attention? I am trying so hard for so long to be independent and accept my loner status. However people are nice and I get attached to them easily. It's something I am not able to avoid. As soon as I get attached, that's when I think they owe me more than I deserve. Like they should owe me anything. We should all be free in our own times and contact people whenever we feel like it. And I should stop expecting people to remember I exist all the time. I certainly don't do that with them. I am so lost in this mess of mine.