The fall

Why do we put ourselves in these situations? How did I let it get so far? Now it is over. There is no certainty anymore, nor future or any plan. The end is near, I can feel it. Why now? Now that I am finally learning what I want to be. Now that I am finally starting to have a life. So many things will change and I am not sure I am prepared for them. The disappointment will be my new companion. It will be the way people will look at me, will remember me, will talk about me. I would prefer to have never given any expectations. The fall would be easier that way. And the high, if I had succeeded, would be even greater. I see the top of the abysm. I must prepare for the fall.