I: a failure

What am I?! I am a failure, a big disappointment. I embraced something I could never reach. I managed to convince people around that I was capable, but it all came down to this. It won't finish with a full stop, it will finish with a coma. A coma that will hunt me for as long as I live. A coma that will never bring me peace. Can I still change the game? I hope so. I hope the bad news that came will bring me some will to hut the full stop. How could I disappoint so many people? And why all I can feel is this agony for having disappointed others? Am I avoiding myself again? Avoiding thinking that I disappointed myself? How could I let it come to this point? I am not prepare to face life. I was never prepared. The point above just proves it. I want a shell to hide and prepare myself for a next step. Prepare to know how to deal with failure. I am sure it won't be easy. So many people that were convinced that I could do it even if I assured them that I wasn't sure. They never stopped to listen to the troubles I was going through. I guess they are not worth worrying about. Anyway, I will still have to deal with them and with this situation. I need a new plan also, but the time is short. I don't deal well with pressure. Only people going through the same things are able to understand a bit my situation, but they are so scarce. No one likes losers. I will never be able to move away from this. I: a failure!